Monday, June 20, 2005
Last, But Not Least...
It was Jayce's last day of preschool today, so they had a little party. Cupcakes, rice krispy squares, beer... y'know, the usual fare. The parents were invited back for the final 15 minutes and they proceeded to do a short graduation ceremony. Each preschooler received a paper grad cap and a rolled up "diploma." Needless to say, it was very cute and parents were snapping lots of photos of their munchkins (except us - we always forget our camera).
When they finished introducing all the kids and handing out diplomas, it hit me. Precious, the final little girl presented (that's really her name!), was introduced as "last, but not least." That's fine and dandy, but the insinuation is that ONE of the little children IS the least. It wasn't Precious, so that narrows it down to one of the 13 other kids introduced prior to the lisping girl with the frizzy black hair.
I think it's only fair to come out with the truth and introduce the child whom the preschool teachers considered the least (least favourite, least likeable, least academic... maybe an explanation of the criteria is in order as well). I left there wondering if our Jayce was considered the "least" in their eyes. Couldn't be. Could it?
Anyways, I hereby propose a new speech bylaw. Anyone considering using the phrase "last, but not least" in an introduction, speech, or sermon should be forced to reveal who or what was the "least" in their list. Maybe an official with a whistle should be on hand to stop the proceedings when the phrase is uttered. Or the oration should always include something to the effect: "Fifth, and certainly least, to graduate from the Deer Lake preschool..."
Then, and only then, would we know the truth, and people could walk away satisfied and not scratching their heads over who (or what) was the least.
Jayce was certainly one of the tallest kids in her class. She was probably one of the most verbose as well. Still, I'll probably go to my grave never really knowing what her rank was in the educational minds of Mrs. Friesen, Ms. Shireen, and the rest of the Deer Lake staff. Was she first? Was she fourteenth??
Kinda makes me want our Purdy's chocolate box back....
When they finished introducing all the kids and handing out diplomas, it hit me. Precious, the final little girl presented (that's really her name!), was introduced as "last, but not least." That's fine and dandy, but the insinuation is that ONE of the little children IS the least. It wasn't Precious, so that narrows it down to one of the 13 other kids introduced prior to the lisping girl with the frizzy black hair.
I think it's only fair to come out with the truth and introduce the child whom the preschool teachers considered the least (least favourite, least likeable, least academic... maybe an explanation of the criteria is in order as well). I left there wondering if our Jayce was considered the "least" in their eyes. Couldn't be. Could it?
Anyways, I hereby propose a new speech bylaw. Anyone considering using the phrase "last, but not least" in an introduction, speech, or sermon should be forced to reveal who or what was the "least" in their list. Maybe an official with a whistle should be on hand to stop the proceedings when the phrase is uttered. Or the oration should always include something to the effect: "Fifth, and certainly least, to graduate from the Deer Lake preschool..."
Then, and only then, would we know the truth, and people could walk away satisfied and not scratching their heads over who (or what) was the least.
Jayce was certainly one of the tallest kids in her class. She was probably one of the most verbose as well. Still, I'll probably go to my grave never really knowing what her rank was in the educational minds of Mrs. Friesen, Ms. Shireen, and the rest of the Deer Lake staff. Was she first? Was she fourteenth??
Kinda makes me want our Purdy's chocolate box back....
# posted by Dairn @ 11:47 PM 
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I really like the disclaimer idea, Caryn. I shall make an amendment for my proposal to the United Nations (I'm sure Kofi Annan has time to bring all of the world up to speed on my suggestion).
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