Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Long Arm Of The Bao...
Beijing - The long arms of the world's tallest man saved two dolphins in northeast China by reaching inside of them to remove plastic they had swallowed, state media reported yesterday. (Dec 15/2006) STORY
Did you read about this? The man named Bao Xishun is a seven-foot, eight-inch herdsman from Inner Mongolia, and his arm could reach into the stomachs of the dolphins where surgical instruments could not. I wonder how they ever thought of contacting this man?
"Nurse, this retractor is too short to reach into the dolphin's stomach. If only we knew someone with a really long, skinny arm. Quick, call Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. If he's not available, give the Guinness World Records people a shout. They might know of a person who is exceptionally tall, locally available, and who doesn't fear losing a limb to razor sharp dolphin teeth."
I'm sure Bao was wondering if his great height would be used for any reason other than saving goats and yaks from tall trees. I guess now he has realized his porpoise. Or porpoises....
Did you read about this? The man named Bao Xishun is a seven-foot, eight-inch herdsman from Inner Mongolia, and his arm could reach into the stomachs of the dolphins where surgical instruments could not. I wonder how they ever thought of contacting this man?
"Nurse, this retractor is too short to reach into the dolphin's stomach. If only we knew someone with a really long, skinny arm. Quick, call Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. If he's not available, give the Guinness World Records people a shout. They might know of a person who is exceptionally tall, locally available, and who doesn't fear losing a limb to razor sharp dolphin teeth."
I'm sure Bao was wondering if his great height would be used for any reason other than saving goats and yaks from tall trees. I guess now he has realized his porpoise. Or porpoises....
Sunday, December 10, 2006
To Celebrate My Centennial...
You are reading my 100th post. Congratulate yourself! To celebrate, I thought I would share a couple of Jayce's poems. The first one was written over a month ago at school all by herself (as you can tell from her spelling of "poem") using the words "leaves" and "pumpkins," that her teacher had put on the board.
A PUOIM (Oct 26/06)
Leaves
Who r you
I am a leaves
Who r you
I am a pumpkins
Today she wrote this instant classic. Behold:
Boys love toys
Girls love pirls (pearls)
Men like ten
Women like men,
Like men like ten
There's wisdom in this Dr. Seuss-inspired work somewhere. Now if we only knew what "ten" was, we could figure out one of the ancient secrets of the universe - to what degree do women like men....
A PUOIM (Oct 26/06)
Leaves
Who r you
I am a leaves
Who r you
I am a pumpkins
Today she wrote this instant classic. Behold:
Boys love toys
Girls love pirls (pearls)
Men like ten
Women like men,
Like men like ten
There's wisdom in this Dr. Seuss-inspired work somewhere. Now if we only knew what "ten" was, we could figure out one of the ancient secrets of the universe - to what degree do women like men....
Friday, December 01, 2006
Real Men Don't Eat Quiche...
But I hope they buy it! I did a Costco run today, with my list of necessary items for the Ladies' Tea this Saturday at the church. Sausage rolls, cheese and crackers, mandarin oranges, Christmas cookies, nanaimo bars, and mini quiches. I was instructed to get 200 of everything, but I only got 180 of the quiches (shhhh!). Besides, who in their right mind, having a choice between a nanaimo bar and a quiche, would choose the flaky (to coin a term) pastry?
Speaking of the macho gender, guys sure don't do much to dispel that "men are pigs" accusation, do they? I used the restroom facilities at the aforementioned Costco, and looking into the urinal I counted 5 pieces of chewed up and discarded gum. Like, what? Was it a competition of some kind to plug up the holes in the drain? Maybe the second, third, fourth and fifth guys just thought, "anything he can do, I can do better." Or maybe it was a type of bathroom art? Whatever their issue, I hope that there weren't more guys whose gum just didn't quite make it all the way.
In other news, Kylan can't pronounce "snow" yet. He calls it, "nose." Cute, eh? Let it nose, let it nose, let it nose....
Speaking of the macho gender, guys sure don't do much to dispel that "men are pigs" accusation, do they? I used the restroom facilities at the aforementioned Costco, and looking into the urinal I counted 5 pieces of chewed up and discarded gum. Like, what? Was it a competition of some kind to plug up the holes in the drain? Maybe the second, third, fourth and fifth guys just thought, "anything he can do, I can do better." Or maybe it was a type of bathroom art? Whatever their issue, I hope that there weren't more guys whose gum just didn't quite make it all the way.
In other news, Kylan can't pronounce "snow" yet. He calls it, "nose." Cute, eh? Let it nose, let it nose, let it nose....
