Monday, August 01, 2005
In Other News...
One of my favourite things is to go to the mall food court to grab lunch and go through the newspaper. I read the sports, then take out a pen and tackle the crossword puzzle, and finally read the comics. It is a habit that began back in 1991 when I worked at Cantel Cellular on the 16th floor in Metrotown's Metro Tower I and didn't want to sit in the smokey cafeteria/staff room area on my breaks.
Here's something that might be new to many of you, however. Newspaper predators.
Old men, sitting in their natural habitat, blending into the food court like so many motionless crocodiles on the Congo River. They are alone, sipping their Tim's (I'm not a coffee drinker but I've picked up some of the lingo), and just watching the goings-on over their bi-focals. One sits to my left. Another shuffles to a seat on my right. Still more move in closer behind me, nonchalantly keeping me within sight. They can sense when I'm almost finished my routine.
The bold ones might even come right up and try to stake a claim to my daily paper before I am done. Sometimes I am gracious and say "sure." Other times I say, "this is my paper, but I'll lend you $0.75." I have ALWAYS been turned down. It's like they are too good to take my charity, but they'll happily elbow another elderly person on their way to my table when I leave.
When I'm done, sometimes I like to have fun with them. I'll close the paper, then sit and stare straight ahead for a few minutes (that drives 'em nuts!). I'll stand up and slowly put on my coat, then take a couple steps before I remember my newspaper and reach back to snatch it up. They were all alert, ready to take action. But when I tuck the paper under my arm they all swiftly return to sipping their coffee, looking oh so cool, their senses back on standby.
The best thing is when I get up quickly, unexpectedly, and march right out of there. Wow, you'd think they were all on steroids the way they hurdle chairs and each other trying to get that day's prized catch. The feeding frenzy has begun!
Next time you're at the food court, look around for the paper predators. They blend in as best they can, but once you're on to their game, they're easy to spot. Watch for the casual glance from a Tim Horton's patron in a trucker's hat (that doesn't say Von Dutch). When a newspaper strolls by, there's blood in the water. All of a sudden it's shark week at the food fair....
Here's something that might be new to many of you, however. Newspaper predators.
Old men, sitting in their natural habitat, blending into the food court like so many motionless crocodiles on the Congo River. They are alone, sipping their Tim's (I'm not a coffee drinker but I've picked up some of the lingo), and just watching the goings-on over their bi-focals. One sits to my left. Another shuffles to a seat on my right. Still more move in closer behind me, nonchalantly keeping me within sight. They can sense when I'm almost finished my routine.
The bold ones might even come right up and try to stake a claim to my daily paper before I am done. Sometimes I am gracious and say "sure." Other times I say, "this is my paper, but I'll lend you $0.75." I have ALWAYS been turned down. It's like they are too good to take my charity, but they'll happily elbow another elderly person on their way to my table when I leave.
When I'm done, sometimes I like to have fun with them. I'll close the paper, then sit and stare straight ahead for a few minutes (that drives 'em nuts!). I'll stand up and slowly put on my coat, then take a couple steps before I remember my newspaper and reach back to snatch it up. They were all alert, ready to take action. But when I tuck the paper under my arm they all swiftly return to sipping their coffee, looking oh so cool, their senses back on standby.
The best thing is when I get up quickly, unexpectedly, and march right out of there. Wow, you'd think they were all on steroids the way they hurdle chairs and each other trying to get that day's prized catch. The feeding frenzy has begun!
Next time you're at the food court, look around for the paper predators. They blend in as best they can, but once you're on to their game, they're easy to spot. Watch for the casual glance from a Tim Horton's patron in a trucker's hat (that doesn't say Von Dutch). When a newspaper strolls by, there's blood in the water. All of a sudden it's shark week at the food fair....
# posted by Dairn @ 4:20 PM 
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Hey, I like that game!! I've played it too.
Except sometimes, when I go eat out by myself, I too have been a paper predator! EEK!!
Denny's on Capilano Road and at the ON-ON on Kingsway. Funny, that someone is playing with my mind as I wait for them to finish reading the restaurant's paper! LOL
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Except sometimes, when I go eat out by myself, I too have been a paper predator! EEK!!
Denny's on Capilano Road and at the ON-ON on Kingsway. Funny, that someone is playing with my mind as I wait for them to finish reading the restaurant's paper! LOL
# posted by 
: 3:03 PM
: 3:03 PM << Home
