Thursday, November 17, 2005
Aquafresh Asterisk*...
This is what my toothpaste box says: Aquafresh Whitening Advanced Freshness with Triclene is scientifically proven to safely whiten teeth by gently removing stains without bleach, peroxide or harsh abrasives.*
I thought, well that's nice. But then I wondered what the asterisk was for at the end of the sentence. I had to look at the other end of the box to see the following.
* With brushing.
OK, now I'm thinking that the Aquafresh people think that the average toothpaste user is very dumb. How else would Aquafresh safely whiten teeth? Well, let's brainstorm, shall we? You could:
- Scrape your teeth with the toothpaste box
- Take the toothpaste internally
- Hit your face with the toothpaste tube
- Smear your lips with Aquafresh
- Set your toothpaste on fire and breathe in the "teeth whitening" fumes
- Use in the same manner as you would Preparation H
Wow, there really are lots of ways to misunderstand the tooth whitening instructions! Thank you Aquafresh people, with the use of a seemingly insignificant asterisk, it's all so clear now.
I think I hear Colgate calling my name....
I thought, well that's nice. But then I wondered what the asterisk was for at the end of the sentence. I had to look at the other end of the box to see the following.
* With brushing.
OK, now I'm thinking that the Aquafresh people think that the average toothpaste user is very dumb. How else would Aquafresh safely whiten teeth? Well, let's brainstorm, shall we? You could:
- Scrape your teeth with the toothpaste box
- Take the toothpaste internally
- Hit your face with the toothpaste tube
- Smear your lips with Aquafresh
- Set your toothpaste on fire and breathe in the "teeth whitening" fumes
- Use in the same manner as you would Preparation H
Wow, there really are lots of ways to misunderstand the tooth whitening instructions! Thank you Aquafresh people, with the use of a seemingly insignificant asterisk, it's all so clear now.
I think I hear Colgate calling my name....
# posted by Dairn @ 8:16 PM 
